Two and a Half Men
200312 seasonsEnded
From 2003 to 2015
· TMDBComedy
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Episode ratings
Season 1Cast
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Specials41 episodes
- S00E01Original Pilot - Most Chicks Won't Eat VealTBA
- S00E02Jake's a Regular KidTBA
- S00E03Jennifer Taylor on Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer Marriage Problems 0.3TBA
- S00E04Jon Cryer wins an Emmy for Two and a Half Men at the 2009 Primetime Emmy AwardsTBA
- S00E05Behind the ScenesTBA
- S00E06Finding AngusTBA
- S00E07Getting Charlie SheenTBA
- S00E08Jennifer TaylorTBA
- S00E09Jon's Advice to CharlieTBA
- S00E10Mama's BoysTBA
- S00E11Marin HinkleTBA
- S00E12Two and a Half Men and CSI - Behind the Scenes Cross OverTBA
- S00E13Two and a Half Men and CSI - Behind the Scenes Cross Over 2TBA
- S00E14Bloopers Season 01 0.3TBA
- S00E15Bloopers Season 02TBA
- S00E16Bloopers Season 03TBA
- S00E17Bloopers Season 04TBA
- S00E18Bloopers Season 05TBA
- S00E19Bloopers Season 06TBA
- S00E20Bloopers Season 07TBA
- S00E21Bloopers Season 08TBA
- S00E22Bloopers Season 09TBA
- S00E23Bloopers Season 10TBA
- S00E24Bloopers Season 11TBA
- S00E25Bloopers Season 12TBA
- S00E26Two and a Half Men - In the BeginningTBA
- S00E27Two Men Talking About Two and a Half MenTBA
- S00E28The 100th episode of Two and a Half MenTBA
- S00E29"Must Pause TV" - The story of Chuck LorreTBA
- S00E30Two and a Half Men: Dying Is Easy, Comedy Is HardTBA
- S00E31CSI-Episode: Two and a Half DeathsTBA
- S00E32Growing up HarperTBA
- S00E33The Women of Two and a Half MenTBA
- S00E34Charlie's EX ReunionTBA
- S00E35Two and a Half Men Version 2.0TBA
- S00E36The Billionaire Upgrade: How Walden Schmidt redesigned the house in MalibuTBA
- S00E37Two Manly Men - Singing and DancingTBA
- S00E38Backstage Tour with Angus T. Jones2007-01-01
- S00E39Two Adults, One Kid, No Grown-ups2007-01-01
- S00E40The Serious Business of Writing Comedy2008-01-01
- S00E41A Day in the Life of Two and a Half Men2008-01-01
Season 124 episodes
- S01E01Pilot 3.42003-09-22
- S01E02Big Flappy Bastards 3.62003-09-29
- S01E03Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 3.62003-10-06
- S01E04If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap 3.82003-10-13
- S01E05The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump 3.62003-10-20
- S01E06Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 3.42003-10-27
- S01E07If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake 3.92003-11-03
- S01E08Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful 3.62003-11-10
- S01E09Phase One, Complete 3.42003-11-17
- S01E10Merry Thanksgiving 3.52003-11-24
- S01E11Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor 3.52003-12-15
- S01E12Camel Filters and Pheromones 3.52004-01-05
- S01E13Sarah Like Puny Alan 3.42004-01-12
- S01E14I Can't Afford Hyenas 3.42004-02-02
- S01E15Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 3.52004-02-09
- S01E16That Was Saliva, Alan 3.52004-02-16
- S01E17Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 3.62004-02-23
- S01E18An Old Flame with a New Wick 3.52004-03-01
- S01E19I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You 3.62004-03-22
- S01E20Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark 3.52004-04-19
- S01E21No Sniffing, No Wowing 3.52004-05-03
- S01E22My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 3.42004-05-10
- S01E23Just Like Buffalo 3.72004-05-17
- S01E24Can You Feel My Finger? 3.52004-05-24
Season 224 episodes
- S02E01Back Off, Mary Poppins 3.82004-09-20
- S02E02Enjoy Those Garlic Balls 3.52004-09-27
- S02E03A Bag Full of Jawea 3.62004-10-04
- S02E04Go Get Mommy's Bra 3.72004-10-11
- S02E05Bad News from the Clinic? 3.32004-10-18
- S02E06The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance 3.62004-10-25
- S02E07A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana 3.32004-11-08
- S02E08Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers 3.42004-11-15
- S02E09Yes, Monsignor 3.52004-11-22
- S02E10The Salmon Under My Sweater 3.42004-11-29
- S02E11Last Chance to See Those Tattoos 3.62004-12-13
- S02E12A Lungful of Alan 3.62005-01-03
- S02E13Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair) 3.72005-01-17
- S02E14Those Big Pink Things with Coconut 3.42005-01-31
- S02E15Smell the Umbrella Stand 3.62005-02-07
- S02E16Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? 3.92005-02-14
- S02E17Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! 3.82005-02-21
- S02E18It Was 'Mame', Mom 3.32005-03-07
- S02E19A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise 3.62005-03-21
- S02E20I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey 3.62005-04-18
- S02E21A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On 3.62005-05-02
- S02E22That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother 3.52005-05-09
- S02E23Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab 3.72005-05-16
- S02E24Does This Smell Funny to You? 3.12005-05-23
Season 324 episodes
- S03E01Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts 3.62005-09-19
- S03E02Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover 3.32005-09-26
- S03E03Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 3.62005-10-03
- S03E04Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs 3.62005-10-10
- S03E05We Called It Mr. Pinky 3.62005-10-17
- S03E06Hi, Mr. Horned One 3.82005-10-24
- S03E07Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop 3.52005-11-07
- S03E08That Voodoo That I Do Do 3.82005-11-14
- S03E09Madame and Her Special Friend 3.42005-11-21
- S03E10Something Salted and Twisted 3.52005-11-28
- S03E11Santa's Village of the Damned 3.82005-12-19
- S03E12That Special Tug 3.62006-01-09
- S03E13Humiliation Is a Visual Medium 3.62006-01-23
- S03E14Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded 3.92006-02-06
- S03E15My Tongue Is Meat 3.82006-02-27
- S03E16Ergo, the Booty Call 3.92006-03-06
- S03E17The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer 3.52006-03-13
- S03E18The Spit-Covered Cobbler 3.62006-03-20
- S03E19Golly Moses, She's a Muffin 3.82006-04-10
- S03E20Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 3.92006-04-24
- S03E21And the Plot Moistens 3.62006-05-01
- S03E22Just Once with Aunt Sophie 3.72006-05-08
- S03E23Arguments for the Quickie 3.62006-05-15
- S03E24That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite 3.72006-05-22
Season 424 episodes
- S04E01Working for Caligula 3.02006-09-18
- S04E02Who Is This Vod Kanockers? 3.62006-09-25
- S04E03The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress 3.52006-10-02
- S04E04A Pot-Smokin' Monkey 3.62006-10-09
- S04E05A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 3.62006-10-16
- S04E06Apologies for the Frivolity 3.82006-10-23
- S04E07Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 3.62006-11-06
- S04E08Release the Dogs 3.62006-11-13
- S04E09Corey's Been Dead for an Hour 3.52006-11-20
- S04E10Kissing Abe Lincoln 3.62006-11-27
- S04E11Walnuts and Demerol 3.82006-12-11
- S04E12Castrating Sheep in Montana 3.32007-01-08
- S04E13Don't Worry, Speed Racer 3.42007-01-22
- S04E14That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 3.42007-02-05
- S04E15My Damn Stalker 3.42007-02-12
- S04E16Young People Have Phlegm Too 3.62007-02-19
- S04E17I Merely Slept with a Commie 2.82007-02-26
- S04E18It Never Rains in Hooterville 3.42007-03-19
- S04E19Smooth as a Ken Doll 3.62007-04-09
- S04E20Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot 3.62007-04-16
- S04E21Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 3.12007-04-23
- S04E22Mr. McGlue's Feedbag 3.62007-04-30
- S04E23Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' 3.72007-05-07
- S04E24Prostitutes and Gelato 3.32007-05-14
Season 519 episodes
- S05E01Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 3.92007-09-24
- S05E02Media Room Slash Dungeon 3.12007-10-01
- S05E03Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 3.62007-10-08
- S05E04City of Great Racks 3.92007-10-15
- S05E05Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 3.82007-10-22
- S05E06Help Daddy Find His Toenail 3.62007-10-29
- S05E07The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room 3.72007-11-05
- S05E08Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 4.02007-11-12
- S05E09Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids 3.92007-11-19
- S05E10Kinda Like Necrophilia 3.92007-11-26
- S05E11Meander to Your Dander 4.02008-03-17
- S05E12A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 3.82008-03-24
- S05E13The Soil Is Moist 3.82008-03-31
- S05E14Winky-Dink Time 3.82008-04-14
- S05E15Rough Night in Hump Junction 4.02008-04-21
- S05E16Look at Me Mommy, I'm Pretty 3.92008-04-28
- S05E17Fish in a Drawer 3.62008-05-05
- S05E18If My Hole Could Talk 3.62008-05-12
- S05E19Waiting for the Right Snapper 3.82008-05-19
Season 624 episodes
- S06E01Taterhead Is Our Love Child 3.82008-09-22
- S06E02Pie Hole, Herb 3.92008-09-29
- S06E03Damn You, Eggs Benedict 3.32008-10-06
- S06E04The Flavin' and the Mavin' 3.62008-10-13
- S06E05A Jock Strap in Hell 3.32008-10-20
- S06E06It's Always Nazi Week 3.72008-11-03
- S06E07Best H.O. Money Can Buy 3.42008-11-10
- S06E08Pinocchio's Mouth 3.72008-11-17
- S06E09The Mooch at the Boo 4.02008-11-24
- S06E10He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 3.82008-12-08
- S06E11The Devil's Lube 3.72008-12-15
- S06E12Thank God for Scoliosis 3.92009-01-12
- S06E13I Think You Offended Don 3.82009-01-19
- S06E14David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 3.72009-02-02
- S06E15I'd Like to Start with the Cat 3.82009-02-09
- S06E16She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime 3.92009-03-02
- S06E17The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? 3.82009-03-09
- S06E18My Son's Enormous Head 3.82009-03-16
- S06E19The Two Finger Rule 3.92009-03-30
- S06E20Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau 3.82009-04-13
- S06E21Above Exalted Cyclops 3.92009-04-27
- S06E22Sir Lancelot's Litter Box 3.62009-05-04
- S06E23Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth 3.52009-05-11
- S06E24Baseball Was Better with Steroids 3.92009-05-18
Season 722 episodes
- S07E01818-JKLPUZO 3.82009-09-21
- S07E02Whipped Unto the Third Generation 3.72009-09-28
- S07E03Mmm, Fish. Yum. 3.62009-10-05
- S07E04Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 3.62009-10-12
- S07E05For the Sake of the Child 3.62009-10-19
- S07E06Give Me Your Thumb 3.82009-11-02
- S07E07Untainted by Filth 3.82009-11-09
- S07E08Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. 3.42009-11-16
- S07E09Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair 3.82009-11-23
- S07E10That's Why They Call It "Ball Room" 3.32009-12-07
- S07E11Warning, It's Dirty 3.82009-12-14
- S07E12Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste 3.72010-01-11
- S07E13Yay, No Polyps! 3.22010-01-18
- S07E14Crude and Uncalled For 3.62010-02-01
- S07E15Aye, Aye, Captain Douche 3.02010-02-08
- S07E16Tinkle Like a Princess 3.02010-03-01
- S07E17I Found Your Moustache 3.02010-03-08
- S07E18Ixnay on the Oggie Day 3.32010-03-22
- S07E19Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave 3.32010-04-12
- S07E20I Called Him Magoo 3.12010-05-10
- S07E21Gumby with a Pokey 3.82010-05-17
- S07E22This Is Not Gonna End Well 3.12010-05-24
Season 816 episodes
- S08E01Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud 3.92010-09-20
- S08E02A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer 3.82010-09-27
- S08E03A Pudding-Filled Cactus 3.32010-10-04
- S08E04Hookers, Hookers, Hookers 3.22010-10-11
- S08E05The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel 3.82010-10-18
- S08E06Twanging Your Magic Clanger 3.42010-10-25
- S08E07The Crazy Bitch Gazette 3.82010-11-01
- S08E08Springtime on a Stick 3.72010-11-08
- S08E09A Good Time in Central Africa 3.82010-11-15
- S08E10Ow, Ow, Don't Stop 3.42010-11-22
- S08E11Dead from the Waist Down 3.62010-12-06
- S08E12Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead 3.42010-12-13
- S08E13Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup 3.62011-01-03
- S08E14Lookin' for Japanese Subs 3.02011-01-17
- S08E15Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak 3.82011-02-07
- S08E16That Darn Priest 3.52011-02-14
Season 924 episodes
- S09E01Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt 2.42011-09-19
- S09E02People Who Love Peepholes 2.62011-09-26
- S09E03Big Girls Don't Throw Food 2.52011-10-03
- S09E04Nine Magic Fingers 2.22011-10-10
- S09E05A Giant Cat Holding a Churro 2.62011-10-17
- S09E06The Squat and Hover 2.52011-10-24
- S09E07Those Fancy Japanese Toilets 2.62011-10-31
- S09E08Thank You for the Intercourse 2.92011-11-07
- S09E09Frodo's Headshots 3.02011-11-14
- S09E10A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes 2.62011-11-21
- S09E11What a Lovely Landing Strip 2.82011-12-05
- S09E12One False Move, Zimbabwe! 2.52011-12-12
- S09E13Slowly and in a Circular Fashion 2.62012-01-02
- S09E14A Possum on Chemo 2.82012-01-16
- S09E15The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack 2.62012-02-06
- S09E16Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy 2.92012-02-13
- S09E17Not in My Mouth! 2.12012-02-20
- S09E18The War Against Gingivitis 2.52012-02-27
- S09E19Palmdale, Ech 2.42012-03-19
- S09E20Grandma's Pie 2.32012-04-09
- S09E21Mr. Hose Says "Yes" 2.92012-04-16
- S09E22Why We Gave Up Women 3.02012-04-30
- S09E23The Straw in My Donut Hole 2.62012-05-07
- S09E24Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! 2.92012-05-14
Season 1023 episodes
- S10E01I Changed My Mind About the Milk 2.52012-09-27
- S10E02A Big Bag of Dog 2.92012-10-04
- S10E03Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt 2.72012-10-11
- S10E04You Do Know What the Lollipop's For 3.02012-10-18
- S10E05That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam 3.02012-10-25
- S10E06Ferrets, Attack! 2.82012-11-01
- S10E07Avoid the Chinese Mustard 2.62012-11-08
- S10E08Something My Gynecologist Said 2.92012-11-15
- S10E09I Scream When I Pee 2.82012-11-29
- S10E10One Nut Johnson 3.12012-12-06
- S10E11Give Santa a Tail-Hole 3.02012-12-13
- S10E12Welcome to Alancrest 3.02013-01-03
- S10E13Grab a Feather and Get in Line 2.32013-01-10
- S10E14Run, Steven Staven! Run! 3.02013-01-31
- S10E15Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It 3.12013-02-07
- S10E16Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby 2.92013-02-14
- S10E17Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries 3.02013-02-21
- S10E18The 9:04 from Pemberton 2.92013-03-07
- S10E19Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon 2.72013-03-14
- S10E20Bazinga! That's from a TV Show 2.62013-04-04
- S10E21Another Night with Neil Diamond 2.52013-04-25
- S10E22My Bodacious Vidalia 2.92013-05-02
- S10E23Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped 2.82013-05-09
Season 1122 episodes
- S11E01Nangnangnangnang 2.92013-09-26
- S11E02I Think I Banged Lucille Ball 2.52013-10-03
- S11E03This Unblessed Biscuit 2.92013-10-10
- S11E04Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank 2.62013-10-17
- S11E05Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 2.62013-10-24
- S11E06Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants 2.62013-11-07
- S11E07Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie 3.02013-11-14
- S11E08Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. 2.82013-11-21
- S11E09Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer 2.52013-12-05
- S11E10On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! 2.52013-12-12
- S11E11Tazed in the Lady Nuts 2.62014-01-02
- S11E12Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. 2.92014-01-09
- S11E13Bite Me, Supreme Court 2.42014-01-30
- S11E14Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe 2.42014-02-06
- S11E15Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin 2.92014-02-27
- S11E16How to Get Rid of Alan Harper 3.12014-03-06
- S11E17Welcome Home, Jake 2.62014-03-13
- S11E18West Side Story 2.62014-04-03
- S11E19Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang 3.32014-04-10
- S11E20Lotta Delis in Little Armenia 3.02014-04-24
- S11E21Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot 2.52014-05-01
- S11E22Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead 2.72014-05-08
Season 1216 episodes
- S12E01The Ol' Mexican Spinach 2.92014-10-30
- S12E02A Chic Bar in Ibiza 2.52014-11-06
- S12E03Glamping in a Yurt 2.72014-11-13
- S12E04Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight 2.52014-11-20
- S12E05Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. 2.72014-11-27
- S12E06Alan Shot a Little Girl 2.82014-12-04
- S12E07Sex with an Animated Ed Asner 2.52014-12-11
- S12E08Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey 2.82014-12-18
- S12E09Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey 2.82015-01-08
- S12E10Here I Come, Pants! 2.62015-01-15
- S12E11For Whom the Booty Calls 2.52015-01-22
- S12E12A Beer-Battered Rip-Off 2.62015-01-29
- S12E13Boompa Loved His Hookers 2.52015-02-05
- S12E14Don't Give a Monkey a Gun 2.72015-02-12
- S12E15Of Course He's Dead (1) 2.12015-02-19
- S12E16Of Course He's Dead (2) 2.52015-02-19